*In a Nut Shell

The Lone Girl Scout

Lowell is working “swings” (1430-2400) this week. So, the girls and I ate a quiet little dinner of left over spaghetti because I really need to make some room in my jammed refrigerator. After we ate and I began the clean-up-the-babies-and-kitchen process, my doorbell rings. Who can it be at this time of day, I’m not expecting any packages, and the mail has already come. I opened the door to find a lone-girl scout carrying a huge bag…

She’s adorable, petite, probably 10 years old, short hair cut, big “doe” eyes, and very, VERY shy. I immediatly think: “Don’t these kids have to travel in a pack or something?” I offer her a smile and she asks, “Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?” Her voice was small and even cracked as she asked.

My next thought: “We don’t need cookies, especially now in Lent, but this poor girl looks like she is going to cry if I even look at her the wrong way.” I told her I would love to buy some, but my husband was at work and he has all the cash, could she come back tomorrow? She gulped. Her eyes got bigger. She became a shade paler. She says, “Well, I think we are all out of cookies today.”  

Another thought crosses my mind: “Okay, so she wants to sell me cookies, but she is all out? What the heck’s in that massive bag she is carrying? How come the girls outside of Walmart never run out of cookies? I don’t know how to deal with door-to-door girl scout cookie sales girls…especially when THEY don’t even know how to deal with me.” So, I ask her, literally, “What’s the deal?” She gulps again. Her eyes get bigger. She becomes another shade paler. And the cat’s caught her tongue.

Imagine my situation. I am staring at this little girl who appears to me like a deer in headlights. She looks like I am driving at her at 100 miles an hour and has nowhere to turn or run to for help. No, wait. She looks like Puss In Boots! But, she isn’t being cute getting ready to kill Shrek, her eyes are just so big they’re going to pop out of her head by now! I recognize her pain and discomfort and try to recover myself. So, I change my approach and ask her how the process works. Do I place an order? Does she have a brochure or catalog I can look at? If I place an order today, do I pay today or when the cookies come? I am so desperate to buy her cookies to make her feel better, but I am not feeling like I am making her feel better. She gulps, her eyes water a bit, and she says, “We…take…uh…check.” 

Here comes another thought: “You only take one check? (I laughed inwardly at my stupid question) I can write a check. Oh Wait! My checks still have the old address on them, I need to re-order checks…” I apologize and tell her that unfortunately I didn’t have any checks with my address on them because I just moved here, but I offered for her to leave me an order form and told her, again, she could come back tomorrow and I would give her the form with some cash. I finally knocked her over; finally struck this poor “dear” in the headlights. She stares at me for a solid minute then says, “I’ll-have-to-ask-my-mom!” all in one breath as she is turning around and RUNNING AWAY as fast as she can!!! :) 

I stood in my doorway completely stunned by the whole experience. I shut my door after actually waiting a minute for her to come back with an answer from her mom and laughed outloud at the whole ordeal. Then laughed even harder that I actually thought she was going to come back. Yeah right! She got in her mom’s car and told her, “Nope! That lady doesn’t want any cookies!” Well, either that or she got in her mom’s car and broke down, crying hysterically, telling her mom she never wants to sell cookies ever again!


4 thoughts on “The Lone Girl Scout

  1. oh my gosh! That is really sad, and crazy, and funny all at once. That poor little girl….I wouldn’t have known what to do if I was in that position lol


  2. This is absolutely hilarious!! I loved reading every moment. I am scared to answer the door at night when Cyril is not home!! lol. You are brave…and yet it was just a little girl! lol


  3. I have lots of questions for this little girl’s mom –being in the midst of GS cookie sales myself–but this is too funny. Poor thing. And lucky you, J, that you can still buy at booth sales in a month…after Easter!


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