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Imagine…

Imagine you were married to the military. For some, I’m sure it won’t be difficult to imagine that part. Imagine you are stationed far from everything you’ve ever known and loved. You know: warm weather, good friends, family, In n’ Out Burger or Sonic… just to name a few.

Now, imagine that you’re super shy. Just about everyone you meet (aside from ONE family from church and ONE of the guys from husband’s work) believes in the polar opposite of everything you believe, and they are not afraid to let you know about their opposition or show you how sickened they are by the way you’ve chosen to live your life: Following God’s will, no matter the cost of money or popularity.

How do you cope?

Naturally, you have a wonderful support system of lots of friends and a huge combined family nationwide, so you don’t feel “alone” in your endeavors to be as Christ-like as possible, love your neighbor as yourself, not contracept, etc.

But, what if you still feel alone, what then? Cling closer and harder to your little, yet growing, family? Check. Try to reach out and spend time with those other people who don’t have anything in common with you aside from being affiliated with the military in one branch or another? Check. Not letting what others say about you, or to you, bother you? Working on that “check”. Pray more? Check.

Is it normal to feel far away? Am I just pregnant and over sensative? It seems like most other military wives and families I know can make it work, they can find a group on base or at church to “click” with. Why can’t we? I know Christ was alone during his trial, beatings, carrying of and crucifixion the Cross, so is it that we are being called to be like Christ on His journey to Calvary? We just push forward, don’t complain or stand up for ourselves, but accept what we’re given silently, offering it up for the salvation of others? Yes. Everything points to and practically screams “YES!” in our face. How beautiful!

I remind myself of that “Foot Steps” poem. The one where there is one set of foot steps in the sand, and the poem talks about walking with God, but when things got hard, God “went away” and quit walking along. The poem asks why God left the  carrying of the load of troubles alone, but God answers and says He lifted “you” with the troubles and has carried “you” through. Hence, the one pair of steps and not two. Anyway, that is so me! I so easily forget, when it is MOST important, that I am here with God, to please Him and only Him. Yet, it gets lonely, the road gets hard to travel, so I forget I’m not alone. I am not alone physically with my amazing husband, kids, and far away family & friends, and I am not alone spiritually with our amazing Father, God, and the host of Angels and Saints. I have to ask my Guardian Angel to help me remember this on the days I struggle the most, and on the days I don’t struggle the most. It’s so easy to give in and I don’t want to be on the easy road.

I know this is a very random post, but I mostly needed to say that “outloud” in order to sort it out. And, I guess I hoped for sound advice on keeping up the good work, or putting me in my place to get a grip and not be a baby about everything. I wonder if maybe Jesus felt the same way, to a degree? Knowing what it could be, but it is far from that for now.

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5 thoughts on “Imagine…

  1. I know how it can be to have all of your family out of state and I feel for you! Just make extra phone calls and facebook comments to help :) Also web cams can work wonders for when you’re really missing someone! Plus feel comfort in the fact that we’re all praying for you!

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  2. Hey yooooou. Keep your head up, you are such a great person and mother and an inspiration for my daily growing Faith. Can’t wait to see you when you come out…lets talk! :)

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  3. Joanna,
    Not exactly the same but I do feel your pain. Even in our big family, all of us feel so alone sometimes. Wish I could come up and give you a hug.
    anita

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  4. Oh, J–I wish you were close by. For me the first years were the most awkward too. I was still growing up in a lot of ways, feeling my way around my marriage, being a mother of a rapidly growing family, and far from my parents. Over time I’ve adjusted, and it became easier once I started homeschooling and found “my people”. Maybe you could find a way to get involved with a Catholic HS group as a way to meet those women you’ll connect with best. Really, in the end, I’ve found one dear female friend helps most during the times you describe. You’re doing all the right things. Persevere!

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  5. Thanks, Ladies :)

    Most definitely, my hardest struggle is not finding much “support” in my surroundings, hence my missing California, my family and friends, and everything I know and was so familiar with.

    I learned right after getting married and shortly after joining the military, that THIS is my home: wherever I am with MY family and I wouldn’t trade this for the whole state of California and some of it’s population. Usually, I can get over the negative looks and remarks, but when I am pregnant and feeling more vulnerable, and defensive? I just want to hide away until I’ve given birth and can take on the world again.

    Thanks again for the *hugs* and the encouragement! I will persevere :)

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