*In a Nut Shell

One more to my resume’

As a mom of five kids, all still pretty young, I don’t have the privilege of doing many things singularly. In fact, everything I do is plural, meaning Me + 1 (or three, or more).

I plan my menus in the plural sense. I shop for the items I need for said menus in the plural sense. I cook, clean, fold laundry, scrub bathrooms, do the dishes, pull weeds, eat, sleep, and shower with one or more shadows. It’s the glorious nature of my God-given vocation of motherhood. I would not trade one bit of it.

Okay, I would change one little thing. Showering uninterrupted. Not just while the water is running, but the few minutes it takes to dry off, put some oil on, brush my teeth, and put my clothing on as well.

Do your kids come knock on the door while you are locked in in your great attempts of pretending you are at the spa? Do they say “Mom!” thirty times because they know you can hear them and are choosing the spa fantasy over whatever it is that’s so terrible they need to knock down the door? Even though you have put the youngest ones down for naps and have given the older ones the long speech about giving you a handful of minutes in peace to cleanse your mind and body, they still need you?

Yeah, that happens to me. I am only out of sight for 10 minutes, max!, and still, there is always an “emergency.” Do you know what kinds of things cause door beatings and shouts of “Mom!” in our house?

Kid B took Kid C’s piece of paper that they were planning on coloring on tomorrow.

Kid A wants to play with Kid C, but Kid C wants to read a story to their imaginary farm animals.

Kid C needs to get a game off the closet shelf and Kid A won’t get off the barstool Kid C needs to climb up.

Kids A, B, and C, want me to make popcorn and cookies after I wash my hair. (considerate, right?)

Or, the newest, strangest thing of all happened to me this week. I hopped in the shower at lunch time. I didn’t have to wash my hair that day, but I did need my daily cleanse and this little window presented itself so I had to jump on it. I had just stepped in and was lathering up with soap when the beatings of the door commenced.

Me: I will be out in 3 minutes! Work it out!
Kid: *muffled talking*
Me: I can’t hear you. Just work it out, I will be out soon.
Kid: *muffles more*
Me: What is the emergency?! I can’t hear a word you are saying…
Kid: *closer to door, still slightly muffled* ….open it?
Me: What? Just open the door, what are you trying to say to me??
(we only have one bathroom, so the door is kept unlocked incase there is a potty emergency that can’t wait for shower time to end)
Kid: *opens door* Mom, can you please just open this for me?
Me: What? Open what? I am in the shower!
Kid: *moves curtain slightly, enter MAYONAISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Will you open this so we can make a sandwich?
Me: *silence…..loosens mayo lid and shoves it back in direction it came* Get. Out. Now.

I then spent the rest of my 2 minutes in the shower wondering how many other moms have OPENED. A. MAYONAISE LID. WHILE TAKING A  SHOWER. So, I mentally added to my list of skills, on my short resume, making lunch while in the shower. I am very hands on and great at multi-tasking. I am pretty sure the next time I have a MNO that my mayo story will one up everybody else’s stories. Either that, or my sharing that I pee in the dark…

Yeah. I have figured out that if I hide in the bathroom with the door not closed completely and the light off, I can actually empty my bladder without the help of my kids. It works about twice a day. But, hey! That’s twice more than I was since having kids. ha!

This motherhood thing is everything it’s cracked up to be, and MORE! These are what make life so entertaining and get you out of bed bright and early every morning. It’s like playing a game, even though you are the only one aware of the rules 99.9% of the time. It can be crazy, but I love it! <3

Thank You, Lord, for trusting me so much. Help me to be more open to the graces You send to help me. Amen.

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2 thoughts on “One more to my resume’

  1. I was asked, while showering, if I could give the chicken a shower because it had a hurt and bleeding foot. I open the curtain and proceeded to have a chicken tossed into the shower with me. I thought the beastly child just wanted attention. I screamed, grabbed the chicken and was about to toss it out but then gave the darn thing a bath since it was already in there and my peaceful time was ruined. We had a long discussion about animals being in the house and mamas shower time.

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    1. Oh my gosh! that is hysterical!!!! I hope your talk about mama’s time was successful. I have a “mama’s time” talk before each and every shower I take……. haha!

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