***DOOMS DAY ALERT***
Does your life ever crumble to pieces and get gobbled up?? Sometimes it happens rapidly, like a crazy whirlwind that leaves you stunned and spinning a bit. Other times, it seems to be a slooow sort of crumble. Or, a slow eruption like in the sense of a volcano. Just slowly gets worse and worse. Don’t you always ask What in the world does God want from me through this?!
I have had the slow eruption/crumble, with a few rapid whirlwinds along the way, recently.
It got crazy hot here in the desert. And, the a/c broke again. It was getting to 95 every day in here and not getting below 80 at night. Even with all my new fans and keeping the whole house open after sundown. I had some problems with sweating so much that my pump was ripping out. I had to do a set change (shoot in a new catheter) 6 times last week. Luckily, I stayed hydrated enough to not lose control, but I still haven’t felt 100% in this heat. I lost half my garden to the blasted sun. I am down to tomatoes, a zucchini plant that is moments from it’s demise, and a watermelon vine. I am so upset by this! And, we have lost ALL but 3 of our original hens to hawks and our new dog.
All this has happened in the last 10 days or so.
I don’t know why, but it just feels like ‘bad omens’ to me. Just so much nasty and ugly; a cloud hanging over us. (All except the a/c got replaced by the landlord. *happy dance*) I have a feeling, the same I had when in Virginia, that I should prepare. I feel as though it is time to prepare for something big. I really feel we need to get out of this desert place more than anything else, but unless God does something amazing, I don’t see it happening in the relative near future. (although, we didn’t really see Lowell getting out of the Navy and it happened, sooo…)
Anyway. I want to get prepared. But how? Where to start? Sure, food, water, diapers, medicine. But, there seems to be a stronger need for preparation by prayer. Prayer and sacrifice. Lots of it. I think, on a whole, we as Christians have lost sight of making sacrifices. Yes, we offer what daily troubles come our way, but are we making special sacrifices? Are we telling ourselves “no” to anything as a sacrifice and not just as a tool to save money or lose weight? Are we praying quietly, and as a family, word by word, and not rushing through them out of habit to get the kids to bed? Are we uniting ourselves to Christ in His passion and not only His resurrection?
I know I’m not. Not all the time. Not every chance I get. But, I think God is calling me to the front line in prayer. I know in my heart that a return to even more frequent confession and daily rosary is imperative. I am stumped in understanding God’s intentions. I suppose I will add it to the stack of things I won’t understand until I reach the Beatific Vision. I don’t know what tomorrow holds but I do know I want it to have God’s graces a’plenty in it, to be in His favor, and to remain in His protection from physical and moral harms.
Okay! No more Dooms Day talk. For all I know, this heat is messing with me more than I realize and all is well in the world I live in. I am a product of “sheltered homeschooler” status after all… ;)
However, I for sure stand by the need for more prayer and sacrifice. And less heat!